Siblings and Autism: Reconciling Their Needs

SILVER SPRING, Md. -- I do a lot of thinking about what having an autistic brother means to my other two sons. For the most part, now that they are all between the ages of 6 and 9, they are siblings just like any others—sometimes they are best friends and sometimes they act like they want to kill each other. Yet, I know that the coming years will bring extra challenges to their relationship.

A couple of years ago, I visited my home town. While telling some of my old high school friends about Jack, my son with autism, one of them said, "You know I have a brother with autism, right?" I thought about it and I remembered him. I hadn't ever interacted with him much, but he was definitely different than the rest of us. I'd never known he was autistic, but after she said that, it made complete sense.

I asked her how it was to grow up with an autistic brother. I think I was hoping that she would tell me that he had brought extra meaning to her life, that he had taught her to appreciate differences or that she had learned something important from him.

She thought about it for a minute and then she told me that it was hard. That sometimes it was embarrassing.

It was tough to hear that, but it was honest.

When Your Brother Has Autism

As Autism Awareness Month comes to a close, a nice perspective from Patty Hastings, a student at Northwestern University's Medill journalism school.


CHICAGO -- One in 110 people is identified as autistic, up from one in every 10,000 in 1990 — the year my brother was diagnosed. Does the increasing prevalence signal an autism epidemic or, simply, that the autism spectrum is too wide?
"It's supposed to be worse than being blind, not being able to communicate," said my mom, Debbie Hastings.
I wouldn’t know because my older brother, William, can't tell me what it's like to be on the spectrum.
National Autism Awareness Month is coming to a close, but families of people with autism are aware of this pervasive disorder 24/7, 365 days a year.

Life Is Tough When Sibling Has a Disability

SAN ANTONIO, Texas -- Even when 7-year-old Fanny Gunn gets mad at her twin brother, Lennon, for playing too rough, she’s expected to keep her cool. When her friends come over, she’s expected to let them know they can’t shut him out of their play.
Lennon has autism, and his behavior may alternate between long bouts of contentedly holding a spoon and constant screaming, so it’s not easy. But Fanny gets a lot of practice.
When a friend doesn’t understand Lennon’s autism, she will explain: “He has a different brain.”Life can be a little tougher for siblings of children with disabilities. Their brother or sister often gets the lion’s share of parents' attention, and the siblings often must pitch in more than most. They may find themselves thrust into the jobs of translator and protector.